I've never put myself through the pain of getting a tattoo, but if I ever make the decision, it won't be of something stupid. Being "tatted" is something that lasts forever. Not a stinging hobby to cure boredom.

One thing that really gets on my nerves is when people get names tatted on them that aren't permanent fixtures in their lives. I'm not going to put the name of a boyfriend on 3 weeks on my skin, not even a boyfriend of 3 years. Things can change.

Someone related to you, I'd be more comfortable with. Your mother is always going to be your mother, and your son is always going to be your son.

Getting walls of color, words, and images that don't mean anything bothers me as well. If you're dumb enough to print something meaningless on your body chances are you won't have the money to get it removed when you realize what you've done.

If you must get a tattoo, be smart about it and get something significant. And if you have doubts, ask somebody else.

Seriously, do people not realize that these things are supposed to last forever?

#39 The Conceited

When I say "you look nice," you should say "thank you," NOT "I know." Conceited people bother me so much. The beautiful outfit, awesome make up, and 'on point' hairdo look dull and uninteresting to me now. When I hear the words "I know," it lets me know that you don't have manners for one. It also tells me that you're not internalizing the compliment; you've already told yourself that you look nice dozens of times before I even laid eyes on you.

I'm not demoting self confidence and self esteem, but I am looking for an end to this overwhelming arrogance that just makes people ugly.

#22 Thanks for saying thank you!

I was walking out of an academic building this morning when just a glimmer of hair was caught in my peripheral vision. Halfway out of the second exit, I stretch backwards in a true test of acrobatics to reopen the door for the woman behind me. She catches the opening and I smile. She gives me a dead look and walks out of the adjacent door.

I think that I was momentarily stunned. "Please and thank you, they are the magic words," they're also the first things you learn in Head Start. I'm putting this on the school systems and not her parents because they obviously didn't teach her manners, or she opted not to listen.

With the only thing left to do, I dug down deep and let my chorus of

"YOUR WELCOME!" echo through the quad.

She flinched and that gave me satisfaction.

#71 is a BAD WEAVE

Maybe I'm a little more sensitive to hair matters because I'm a cosmetologist, but a bad weave is a bad weave is a BAD WEAVE. There's really nothing else to say on the matter. These images speak for themselves.

... it's just sad.

#90 The Home Wrecker

Alicia Keys is my most reoccurring pet peeve. The beautiful and talented musician stole the hearts of millions with her debut " Fallin" in 2001. After a legion of success, Key's proved herself as a singer, songwriter, pianist, producer, and philanthropist. But why is it that every time I hear one of her songs on the radio I'm filled with the overwhelming urge to vomit? The music of the person that I so strongly supported sounds like racket to my ears. It's because she's become, what are they called…? oh yes, a home wrecker. Now for those of you that don't know a home wrecker is:

	(1)A person who allows, or convinces, a man/woman to cheat on their significant other with them them, being the "homewrecker". (2)A person who sleeps with/has a relationship with a married man/woman, even tho they know that person is married. (3)A person who does one/both of the above, and feels no guilt or remorse whatsoever for their actions

Based on reports I can confidently say that Alicia Keys fits the profile seamlessly. She had an affair with a married man, Swizz Beatz. When Key's was confronted by Mrs. Swizz Beatz (Mashonda), she was graciously asked to step out of married people business. The fact that Alicia is now married to him, with a brand new baby proves that she didn't adhere to her wishes. Actually here is Mashonda's very public address to Ms. Homewrecker herself:

After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I’ve never reached out to her on twitter before. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation. Not to mention that I’ve reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do. Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response. The 1st time I meet AK, my husband introduced us to each other at an event. ( I have no choice but to call him my husband, until he is not anymore) In the messages that I sent to her (AK), I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child. Its been two years and I still have not received a response. What I do receive, is constant displays of selfishness and disconcern to me and my son.

I was a fan of AK’s last album, we were both signed to J Records and I always checked up on her projects. I sang her songs and admired her for creating Superwoman and Karma, I would never deny her, her talent. I believed in her until I found out she was possibly sleeping with my husband. The affair was denied by both, until it was finally admitted months later.

Already I can hear some of you saying ” why are u blaming her, You cant make someone leave their wife, You cant break something thats broken”. Well, my marriage was not broken, as far as I knew we were celebrating our sons birth and getting ready to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary . Call it blind love, whatever. I call it being a devoted wife.. As far as me blaming her and not blaming him, thats false. Me and my husband have worked out our differences. We are in a good place as people and as parents. I accept his choices and I am comfortable enough with myself to move on. I am so very blessed in many ways.

My concern with AK is no longer the fact that she assisted in destroying a family but that she has the audacity to make these selfish comments about love and wanting to be with someone, even after knowing their situation. How is this the same Superwoman that I sang out loud with in my truck? I ask myself sometimes.

If you are reading this Alicia, let me start by saying, you know what you did. You know the role you played and you know how you contributed to the ending of my marriage. You know that I asked you to step back and let me handle my family issues. Issues that you helped to create.

Im not saying everything was perfect all the time but no relationship is perfect. We made a vow to God and I believe you should have respected that, as a woman. I know you owe me or my son nothing but I just wish you would’ve handled things more carefully. I’m not judging you, I put you and the whole situation in the hands of God, the Higher Power. Just know that as a woman, I expected so much more from you. I never had intentions on reaching out to you this way but after reading your twits tonight, and the constant disregard, you left me no choice. I feel that after 1 and a half years of you hiding this affair and acting like it doesnt exist, that now is the time to confront it, since you talk so openly about it now

This is not a publicity stunt, I dont have a record coming out. I just need to close this chapter in my life and that means confronting our issues. There is a small childinvolved. His dad loves him to death and he wants to spend more time with him but hes afraid because he knows we don’t have a relationship. This is my main concern. My son NEEDS his dad and I NEED to be comfortable with you. For him!

I know many will see my point and many will not be able to look into what’s real because they only want to see Alicia Keys the celebrity, not the human. This is not for the “people”, this is for you. Like I said I was left no choice but to reach out to you this way. By now, Im sure you want to find a balance in this as well.

I read your tweets tonight and I felt they were very insensitive. You have no idea how much pain I was caused because of this affair. Its baffling to me that you don’t understand what I might have gone through with this situation. I dont consider myself a victim anymore, Ive learned alot from this! I just ask you to try and be a bit more realistic and delicate to the situation, at least until my divorce is final. I felt me attending the party would have been a starting point for us, since you shook my hand after I offered it, but I suppose I was wrong.

If its so, that you and my husband are meant to be together, then God bless you both and I hope you never have to deal with what I did. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. If you two being together forever is the case, its more of a reason for us to get along, because I’m not going anywhere. Theres a child to be raised.

To answer your tweet, choose smart over spark. Sparks burn everyone, be smart! Its simple actually, just think of the shoe being on the other foot.

Stay blessed and lets work this thing out with respect and dignity.

She handles it with a sense of grace and class that I've never seen an equal to. She also leaves the ultimate judgment up to our almighty God. I wish I was mature enough to exercise the same type of restraint. When THIS is what I think should have happened:

It's a bit extreme yes, but it's annoying a bit sad that everyone has turned their heads because Alicia Keys has crossover potential. Being Alicia Keys shouldn't make you exempt from the backlash that would most certainly follow others around. That certainly follows Fantasia around. So what, if she produces positive music. So what, if she advocates for HIV and AIDS treatment. What does it matter if you set the example for women out there that it's 'okay' to disregard the sanctity of marriage.

I'm not saying that it's up to people to judge her, (even though that's what I'm doing right now) I'm just saying lets not turn our heads like she didn't just go out there and steal another woman's husband.

It's not right.

Thanks Urbandictionary.com for your awesome definitions.

#92 Music Television... NOT!

MTV doesn't show music. If that's not one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, I don't know what is. A complete channel devoted to current and trending music doesn't have one show in the daylight hours that coincides with its namesake; Music Television.

The ending of TRL (Total Request Life) may have been the final straw in this stations inability to connect with its foundation. It can't be said that MTV doesn't play any music, it's just on at the crack of dawn when nobody is awake to view it.

When MTV first started in 1981 is was very influential in the music world. I know that it had a huge impact on my listening while growing up. Now, it's only known for shows like "The Real World," "Jersey Shore," and "Blind Date."

I don't care about the content of MTV I care about the name. Every time I hear it I feel like I'm being lied to. Its NOT Music Television... it's Reality Television. They should definitely change their name to RTV and kill the pretenses.

#5 Selfish Parents

Imagine seeing this woman on the street, immaculately dressed from head to toe. Tailored suit, leather gloves, and sensible heals complete this trendy ensemble.

Now imagine her again holding the hand of this child.

It doesn't make sense does it?

This is beyond a simple irritant. I absolutely HATE it when you see a mother dripping in finery and her child is dripping in filth. It's not the kids fault either, it's the selfish parent that forgot that they are responsible for another life.

Besides the visible dirt on this kid, there are several things wrong with these images. First things first, do you see how angry her hair is, because I do. Mom is dressed for winter and her daughter still has on short sleeves. If you put on gloves before you leave the house in the morning, shouldn't you put some on your child as well?

Children are supposed to be miniaturized reflections of you; your ideals, your morals, and your philosophy. So much so, that even if your kid has no personality, a random person will be able to tell that your baby is loved enough to be kept clean.

It's irresponsible and selfish. If anything your child should go out in public looking better than you do. Don't try and stifle a kids individuality, but when there's mud on your daughter's FACE as a parent it's time for you to draw the line.

These two obviously aren't mother and daughter, but the point is real. There are irresponsible people out there that look after themselves before they meet the needs of their children and that's just foul behavior.

#50 The Tit for Tat Driver

This pet peeve might not count because I can sympathize with both parties. Nobody likes getting cut off, and I can understand the urge to get revenge, but nearly causing another accident is no way to go about it.

This is an example of a Tit for Tat driver. All is well and dandy on the road, but one thing that I've noticed about them is this type of behavior doesn't end on the highway. The Tit for Tat Driver moves around in plain sight putting relationships in jeopardy with his/her spiteful retaliations.

It's not always that one has to take the 'eye for an eye' approach to living, but try telling a TTD that in person.

Let things go, I promise your blood pressure will go down.

#47 Did you really just park next to me?

My car sits alone in the empty parking lot of 7eleven. There are countless spaces to the left and right of me. Another vehicle enters the lot and parks close enough for our car doors to have an impromptu kiss.

Why?

Why did the car park so close? Why do I now have to magician my way out of the drivers seat and crawl over to the passengers side in order to get out?

I feel like there's an unspoken rule about parking spaces that some crazies don't follow. It's like the buffer seat you leave next to you in the movie theater, on buses, planes, and in the pews at church. It's the "I don't know you," distance, and just because it's my car and not my body doesn't make a difference.

You've just invaded the space of my vehicle… for no reason.

Seriously, do you see all that space?!

Irrational Drivers #87

Police cars cause so much drama on the roads.

Everyday lawbreakers become extra cautious on the roads and slam on their breaks in the middle of the highway. Here's the clincher; the police car that has caused such an upset is NOT five feet away with a radar gun pointed at their car, it's about 72 miles away on the other end of the intersection, separated by a raised median, cars going the other direction, and is issuing a citation to another driver. You weren't abiding by the laws before, and now that you've realized no form of reprimand can come your way you continue to drive like a snail and back up your whole lane. It must be the irrational fear that the police officer, that is so far away from you, will sprout wings and nose dive into your vehicle leaving speeding tickets in the wreckage.

It's so frustrating because he can't get to you!

It is virtually impossible for a police officer to accomplish what so many people fear. There is no super power present on this earth that would allow an officer to do the following:

1. Spot your speeding car across the intersection

2. Conclude his/her ticketing process

3. Drive horizontally down vertical traffic

4. Hop the raised median

5. Catch up to your speeding car

6. Issue you a citation

I know that the simple words that I am writing won't change the mentality of drivers and their almost habitual need to inconvenience others and slow down traffic for no reason… but it was worth a try.

The places that I do find joy are with the few people i know that have taken advantage of the preoccupied cop. I have a friend that cut off a police officer, then proceeded to make an illegal right turn right in front of him because she saw that he had a full back seat. What could he do but stop her then let her go?

Nothing.

#16 The Sirens

You're driving down a residential street at a slow speed with the sun setting just beyond the horizon; smooth jazz playing on the radio as a weightless feeling settles within you. It's bliss.

Then you're smacked with the lone figure that can disturb such peace in less than ten seconds. Light perspiration on your brow and a furious heartbeat. The altercation leaves you with a slightly suicidal feeling; you'd do almost anything to get away from it. But what is it? What is this presence, this entity that takes command of your senses? The screaming sirens that deafen you and the loud red and blue lights that blind you. It's the parade of rescue, so shrill and disorienting that it could cause accidents in its wake.

Its like you're frozen before you get a chance to react; before the police car or ambulance comes charging past you. You know you're supposed to move out of the way, but what can you do? You can have a mini heart attack on the road, gather your senses, and move the hell out of the way.

For this reason alone, the split second of time that immobilizes the sane, I cannot stand emergency vehicles in action.

#11 The Song That Doesn't End

It sure annoyed my mother because I would sing this song over and over again. Unnecessary repetition can really get on your nerves, but when dealing with such an endearing figure you've got to tell the parents to "get over it!"

Pet Peeve #63 The unwashed...

I was doing a little girls hair at work the other day. All was well until I got a whiff of what wasn't well concealed. She hadn't showered, she hadn't brushed her teeth, she hadn't lotioned her skin, SHE WAS NOT CLEAN. She was a liar! A dirty body masquerading around as a clean kid in fresh clothes. It would't have been that bad if not for the way I discovered the treachery. I was in the process of shampooing her hair when I made the mistake of asking her if the water was okay. The putrid smell that escaped her lips and slithered up to my nostrils as she responded "It's fine," was enough to make me falter in my very routine actions. I almost dropped the hose and splashed half of the salon. After I got over my sensory shock, I tried my best to continue her service as if I hadn't noticed the funk that rested just beneath the distinct smell of classic febreeze. It was no use. The smell lingered and whipped around my face as blowdryer and fan played catch with the choking odor. And choke me it did! I almost didn't make it out alive...

Good thing I'm a fast braider.

*OH, and Fyi, I'd just like to point out that habituation is a bunch of crap! I learned about it in a psychology class many moons ago. I was under the impression that if I was around that awful smell long enough, I would eventually become conditioned and not smell it anymore. I guess some odors are too strong for the terms of psychology.*

The Pet Peeve Emporium #1

I'm writing about the the little things that have the power to turn generally sane individuals into twitching lunatics. The tiny irritants in life that impact us in a BIG way; dirty finger nails, signaling AFTER you switch lanes on the highway, eye boogers, peep toe shoes, and the smell of 'unwashed' that lingers on certain people you're forced to interact with. Packing up your books in class before the professor is done teaching, taking up 2 parking spaces, people who stay in disfunctional relationships because they don't think they can do any better... all instances that could potentially drive me up a wall after repeated exposure.

It's those same pet peeves that you observe and report that make life interesting. Even if you can't appreciate an occurrence as it happens, reflecting on it later makes things a little funnier.